“I hate you! You're ugly! No one likes you! You're a really miserable person!”
Well, apart from receiving a slap on the face or punch on the nose, you're also quite likely to hurt their feelings.
What about saying something positive? Perhaps something like this:
“You are so beautiful. You're a really great person and a wonderful friend.”
Would you agree that this statement should produce a very different result? It will empower the recipient. It builds their self-esteem and feeling of self-worth.
Let's change the scenario slightly. In this case consider how you would feel if someone else approached you with the negative statement. Would you likely be hurt? I imagine so. Now consider your feelings if someone approached you with the positive statement. How wonderful would that feel?
Words are incredibly powerful! There is no truth at all to the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Negative words cut deeply, creating wounds that can last a lifetime. Positive words on the other hand have the power to heal those wounds, and rebuild you better than ever before.
Let's change the scenario again. This time, imagine you're standing in front of a mirror and repeating a negative statement to yourself over and over again. “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” How does this feel? Not very nice, is it? How about a positive statement? “You are so beautiful! You are so beautiful! You are so beautiful!” Now, that's much better.
I know what you’re thinking though. You wouldn't do that to yourself, would you? You wouldn't expose yourself to such negativity on purpose.
Well, I've got news for you. Your subconscious mind is already exposing you to tens of thousands of thoughts per day. And if you’re not already totally happy and completely successful, then your thoughts are most likely negative.
Take notice of your thoughts for the next 24 hours. If you're like most people, you'll be quite shocked at the negativity that comes from your subconscious mind.
And that, my friends, is affirmations at work!
An affirmation is simply a statement which you of the repeat to yourself over and over again. The statement may be positive, in which case it empowers you, or it may be negative, in which case it hurts.
Whether you like it or not, you are currently using affirmations. Unfortunately though, you’re not controlling the process and your subconscious mind is subjecting you to a constant barrage of negativity. Negative statement after negative statement after negative statement!
Years of negative thoughts have led you to have negative beliefs about yourself and your life. These negative beliefs led to negative habits. And these negative habits are what led you to the life you live now.
So if you're not totally happy with your life, what can you do about it?
It's really quite simple. You need to take conscious control of your thought process, and replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
Conscious repetition of positive affirmations will in time lead to your subconscious mind also producing positive and empowering thoughts. These positive thoughts will lead to positive beliefs about yourself and your life. These positive beliefs will lead to positive habits. And positive habits will lead you to a life of happiness and success.
And that's a wonderful way to live!
So using affirmations for personal growth and self-improvement is simply a matter of repeating positive statements to ourselves over and over again. To make this most effective though, here are some simple guidelines:
1. Make the affirmation positive! Say, “I am happy!” rather than “I am no longer depressed!” Can you see how the first is positive while the second is a double negative statement?
2. The affirmation must be in the present tense. Don't say, “One day I will be happy!” Instead say, “I am happy now!”
3. The affirmation must result in good feelings. The more intense the feelings, the faster you will see a positive change in your life.
I personally find that the easiest way to create affirmations is to first write down my current negative thoughts. I then write the opposite of that thought, ensuring it is positive and in the present tense.
For example if you wrote down “I am feeling sad”, you could replace that with “I am feeling happy. I live a happy and joyful life with complete peace of mind. I constantly attract opportunities for happiness into my life.”
You would then repeat this as much as you could, until your subconscious believes it, and starts reinforcing your new way of life.
Try placing a copy on the wall beside your bathroom mirror, so you see it each morning and evening. Place a copy on an index card which you carry in your pocket, and refer to several times a day.
Partner up with an affirmation buddy. Arrange that every time you see or speak to that person, you will say an affirmation to them. And they’ll say one to you. Imagine how good it would feel to hear someone tell you several times a day, “I love you and I value your friendship so highly. You’re a wonderful person.”
If you’re serious about creating rapid change in your life, consider recording yourself saying the affirmation over and over onto a tape or MP3 player, and then listen to this whenever you have a chance. While getting ready for work, while driving to work, during your lunch break, driving home, and while relaxing in the evening. (Don’t do it while your partner is trying to talk to you though. I learnt that one the hard way!)
Commit to this for the next 90 days, and see the changes it makes in your life. I promise you it is incredibly powerful. Remember though, that this is simply one tool in your happiness tool-kit. Don’t neglect your other tools. Continue with your Gratitude Journal, your meditation, your EFT practice, or whatever else you enjoy. And ensure you use your affirmation correctly. Like any tool, if you use it correctly you’ll get great results. If you use it incorrectly, you’ll get poor results. So keep up the repetition until it is subconscious! Repeat the statements with intensity, and really feel how great it would feel to have that affirmation manifest in your life right now.
So, get started now. Create some positive happy affirmations for changing your life.
“I am a happy and cheerful person.”
“I attract joy into my life, all day long.”
“I am deserving of love, and I love myself unconditionally.”
“I accept my body as it is, with gratitude and love. I am a beautiful person.”
“I am a caring and compassionate person.”
“I attract only good people into my life, and build relationships based on mutual respect and love, for the betterment of all concerned.”
Whatever it is, go for it. Enjoy the process! It can be great fun.
About the Author: Lance Beggs is the author of the "How to be Happy Now" newsletter, and the soon to be released "How to be Happy Now" book. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE Mini Course and ezine at www.HowToBeHappyNow.com