Bittersweet: When Bad Comes Along With
The GoodBy:
Wendy
Betterini
In life, there are cycles of good
and bad. Times when our lives seem joyful and easy, and times when we're
struggling through what seem like endless difficulties. Then there are times
when the two seem to co-mingle. These are the times I call bittersweet.
Perhaps
you've had a bittersweet period in your own life? Usually it begins
with something wonderful, followed immediately by something awful. You get a great promotion at
work, then
your spouse loses his or her job. Or you finally start making
progress on
your new fitness regime, and you pull a muscle, putting you
out of commission for a week or two. A new baby is born into your family, and then a loved
one passes away suddenly (or sometimes not so suddenly).
Currently, I find myself in a bittersweet period of my own. My husband and I
recently purchased our first home. This has been a dream of ours for years, and
we've worked hard to make it happen. Finally the dream came true, and we moved
into our new home less than two weeks ago, eager to begin a new phase of our
lives.
Then the hammer dropped. In the same week, we received news that
two family members have been diagnosed with cancer. My husband's uncle, and my
mother (who also just moved into our new home with us).
During the years
I'd fantasized about what it would be like to have our dream of homeownership
come true, I never expected a dark shadow to be cast over the joy of our new
situation. Somehow, I thought it would be smooth sailing once the hard work was
done and we achieved our goal.
For the first few days after we received
the bad news, I felt somewhat indignant toward the powers that be. Why now? Why
couldn't we just enjoy the experience of our new home ownership, and deal with
the bad stuff later? Yes, I admit, such thoughts are selfish, not to mention
futile. Life doesn't work like that, and the universe doesn't revolve around
our wishes. There will always be difficulties to work through, regardless of
what else is happening in our lives at the time. We simply have to carry on,
because there is nothing else to do. Still, I felt like a petulant child,
pouting because pain, fear, and uncertainty had chosen this moment to knock on
our door.
A few nights later I was feeling restless, unable to
concentrate on anything. I was afraid for my loved ones, worried that the
cancer may have spread, wondering what was going to happen. Finally I decided
to sort through some still-unpacked boxes to take my mind off my worries. It
was late and the house was silent and still when I crept out to the garage. I
began quietly sorting through a box of miscellaneous items when a wave of
weariness came over me, and I sat down heavily on a folding chair to collect my
thoughts. In the grip of despair, I reached out with my heart and mind to the
universe, seeking, asking for...something. Comfort? Strength? Reassurance?
Guidance? I don't even know what I needed at that moment, I just reached out
wordlessly from my soul, hoping to get a response that made everything all right
again.
Suddenly my attention was pulled to an item resting just
inside the top of the box I had been sorting through. It was the corner of a
greeting card I had tossed into the box in the haste of packing. I reached out
and pulled on the corner of the card, and as it emerged from the box, I saw
that the front of it featured a bouquet of flowers and the words, "thank you".
A flood of warmth washed over me then, flowing through every fiber of my being,
clearing my mind, lifting my heart, refreshing my spirit. Yes. THANK YOU! That was the answer I had
been seeking.
There, in the cool, quiet garage, I finally
understood that the dark shadow that had been cast over our lives didn't have
to blot out our joy. Do we despair when clouds blot out the brilliance of the
sun? No. We simply continue on with our lives, working, playing, laughing,
loving. The bitter CAN co-exist with the sweet. I realized that it's a matter
of perspective, as are so many things in life. It's true that bitterness has
the power to taint sweetness, but it's also true that sweetness can ease the
intensity of bitterness. It just depends on which angle you focus on. Thankfully, the
universe found a way to remind me that I have a choice, and I began focusing
more on gratitude and joy again.
The next morning, my husband and
I had some errands to run, and as we drove along a street we've traveled
numerous times, I saw a side street that I'd never noticed before. I glanced up
at the sign and saw that the street name was "Bittersweet Lane." Honestly, it
didn't look like a bad place to live. :-)
About the Author: Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer
specializing in self-improvement and personal development concepts. Visit her
website, www.WingsForTheHeart.com
for free articles on positive thinking, goal-setting, self-esteem, personal
growth, and
more.
The GoodBy:
Wendy
Betterini
In life, there are cycles of good
and bad. Times when our lives seem joyful and easy, and times when we're
struggling through what seem like endless difficulties. Then there are times
when the two seem to co-mingle. These are the times I call bittersweet.
Perhaps
you've had a bittersweet period in your own life? Usually it begins
with something wonderful, followed immediately by something awful. You get a great promotion at
work, then
your spouse loses his or her job. Or you finally start making
progress on
your new fitness regime, and you pull a muscle, putting you
out of commission for a week or two. A new baby is born into your family, and then a loved
one passes away suddenly (or sometimes not so suddenly).
Currently, I find myself in a bittersweet period of my own. My husband and I
recently purchased our first home. This has been a dream of ours for years, and
we've worked hard to make it happen. Finally the dream came true, and we moved
into our new home less than two weeks ago, eager to begin a new phase of our
lives.
Then the hammer dropped. In the same week, we received news that
two family members have been diagnosed with cancer. My husband's uncle, and my
mother (who also just moved into our new home with us).
During the years
I'd fantasized about what it would be like to have our dream of homeownership
come true, I never expected a dark shadow to be cast over the joy of our new
situation. Somehow, I thought it would be smooth sailing once the hard work was
done and we achieved our goal.
For the first few days after we received
the bad news, I felt somewhat indignant toward the powers that be. Why now? Why
couldn't we just enjoy the experience of our new home ownership, and deal with
the bad stuff later? Yes, I admit, such thoughts are selfish, not to mention
futile. Life doesn't work like that, and the universe doesn't revolve around
our wishes. There will always be difficulties to work through, regardless of
what else is happening in our lives at the time. We simply have to carry on,
because there is nothing else to do. Still, I felt like a petulant child,
pouting because pain, fear, and uncertainty had chosen this moment to knock on
our door.
A few nights later I was feeling restless, unable to
concentrate on anything. I was afraid for my loved ones, worried that the
cancer may have spread, wondering what was going to happen. Finally I decided
to sort through some still-unpacked boxes to take my mind off my worries. It
was late and the house was silent and still when I crept out to the garage. I
began quietly sorting through a box of miscellaneous items when a wave of
weariness came over me, and I sat down heavily on a folding chair to collect my
thoughts. In the grip of despair, I reached out with my heart and mind to the
universe, seeking, asking for...something. Comfort? Strength? Reassurance?
Guidance? I don't even know what I needed at that moment, I just reached out
wordlessly from my soul, hoping to get a response that made everything all right
again.
Suddenly my attention was pulled to an item resting just
inside the top of the box I had been sorting through. It was the corner of a
greeting card I had tossed into the box in the haste of packing. I reached out
and pulled on the corner of the card, and as it emerged from the box, I saw
that the front of it featured a bouquet of flowers and the words, "thank you".
A flood of warmth washed over me then, flowing through every fiber of my being,
clearing my mind, lifting my heart, refreshing my spirit. Yes. THANK YOU! That was the answer I had
been seeking.
There, in the cool, quiet garage, I finally
understood that the dark shadow that had been cast over our lives didn't have
to blot out our joy. Do we despair when clouds blot out the brilliance of the
sun? No. We simply continue on with our lives, working, playing, laughing,
loving. The bitter CAN co-exist with the sweet. I realized that it's a matter
of perspective, as are so many things in life. It's true that bitterness has
the power to taint sweetness, but it's also true that sweetness can ease the
intensity of bitterness. It just depends on which angle you focus on. Thankfully, the
universe found a way to remind me that I have a choice, and I began focusing
more on gratitude and joy again.
The next morning, my husband and
I had some errands to run, and as we drove along a street we've traveled
numerous times, I saw a side street that I'd never noticed before. I glanced up
at the sign and saw that the street name was "Bittersweet Lane." Honestly, it
didn't look like a bad place to live. :-)
About the Author: Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer
specializing in self-improvement and personal development concepts. Visit her
website, www.WingsForTheHeart.com
for free articles on positive thinking, goal-setting, self-esteem, personal
growth, and
more.
RSS Feed